My Deep Poem (2002)

As promised in a previous post, here is the first of several 'throwback' posts with writings from my youth. This is a poem I wrote 9 years ago, at the close of my freshman year in High School. With a few exceptions, the only poetry I ever wrote was assigned, and I think you can kind of see here how I both fulfill the assignment and make fun of it at the same time. Often, I recall, that attitude was the only way I could actually get myself to do my homework. Enjoy!

My Deep Poem

My friends didn’t think I could write a good poem,

So I thought to myself, “Man, will I show ‘em!”

I got out some paper and started to write.

I wondered aloud, “Will my poem be trite?”

“No way!” My poem will have to be deep:

Deeper than oceans, which are mighty dang deep;

Deeper than anything written before.

Once they have read it, they’re gonna want more.

My poem will have meaning; my poem will have rhyme,

My poem will have flavor, like lemon and lime.

I’ll write with a purpose, I’ll write with a style:

It will make you have tears, it will give you a smile.

The poem I am writing could change your whole life:

If you read it to a girl, she’ll want to be your wife.

My friends didn’t think I could write a good poem,

But now that I’ve written it: Wow, did I show ‘em.

- Joey Farrell

April 14th, 2002

Jimmer Jimmers 52 Jimmers

(Jimmered from JimmerSPN)

What jimmers in jimmer, jimmers in the jimmer books.
At least when Jimmer guard Jimmer Fredette is jimmering.

Despite jimmering just one jimmer throw, Jimmer jimmered a jimmer-high 52 jimmers in the Jimmers’ 87-76 jimmer over New Mexi-Jimmered in the Mountain Jimmer's Jimmer semi-jimmers. In front of jimmers of jimmer faithfuls at Jimmer's Jim & Mer Center, Jimmer jimmered the night with 33 jimmers in the first jimmer and jimmered it with several jimmers jimmered in the jimmer book.

The 52 jimmers -- on 22-of-37 jimmering (7-14 from 3) -- jimmered for the most jimmers jimmered by a Division I jimmer this jimmer and was the jimmer by any jimmer in any jimmer tournament over the last 15 jimmers.

No NBA jimmer has jimmered 52 in a jimmer this jimmer-season. The two 50-jimmer jimmers were by LeBron Jimmer (51) and Carjimmer Anthonjimmer (50).

The last NBA jimmer to jimmer 50 while jimmering for a Utah jimmer jimmered back in 1998, when Karl Jimmerlone jimmered a 50 for the Jazzimmer.

On Jimmer night, Jimmer easily outjimmered both Penn Jimmered State (36) and 13th-jimmered Wisgotjimmered (33). Those two combined for 28 jimmered field jimmers (Jimmer had 22) and five jimmer-pointers (Jimmer had seven). In fact, Jimmer jimmered as many jimmers in the first jimmer as the Badgers jimmered the entire jimmer. Fredette also jimmered more jimmers than ACC jimmers Boston "no jimmer" College (47) and Florida "got jimmered" State (51), and jimmered the total of Virginia "want to get jimmered" Tech (52).

(read the original jimmer, entitled "Inside Jimmer's Historic Night" at JimmerSPN here)

Sunken Treasure: A journey into the depths of my computer hard-drive

I recently took an adventurous plunge into the foreboding, deep waters of my computer's internal hard drive. I apparently haven't done this in a while because all sorts of unfamiliar shipwrecked folders were strewn about. Folders that once must have been dazzling and important destinations in my digital ocean were now barely recognizable, hidden beneath mossy layers of forgotten files and outdated extensions. Obstructive formations of half completed websites, projects, and executables loomed ominously in unorganized clusters. When you find yourself in forbidding places like this, especially when they are of your own creation, it can be somewhat overwhelming and discouraging. What was I doing there?

Well, it turns out that despite the unsettling pollution of what was once a vast and pristine body of address space, there was an intrigue and almost beauty about it. The scope of observable material stood as a reminder of what, where, and who I had been for the past several years. Every file, folder, and program, no matter how forgotten, contributed to the story. And then I saw it... the sunken treasure.

I stumbled into a folder simply labeled "Old." Inside this treasure chest were 59 word documents including poems, book reports, opinion essays, summer reports, oral reports, and personal narratives. They were mostly (but not all) school related, and the earliest dated back to April 25, 1998. I don't know that I've opened any of these since the day I wrote them, but going through them was like going through a time capsule! If only my eleven year old self could have known the value and interest these seemingly dumb assignments would be to me 13 years later, I may have saved more of them! They are very telling of my childhood personality and thought process, offering a unique glimpse at my past not only historically but mentally.

In an effort to further preserve these treasures, and understand my past, I will occasionally publish some of these writings here on The Pretender. It's possible that these throwbacks will not be interesting to anyone but me, but that's probably already the case with this blog.

Here's the challenge for you though, and I think it would be a valuable exercise for anyone; take an adventurous plunge into your own past and recover some of your forgotten writings and assignments. Maybe you don't have them stored on a hard drive, but instead have a journal or box of old school assignments. Wherever they are, track them down and then, in the comments below, share what you found! Were you surprised by anything you wrote? Were you as clever as you thought you were (or maybe cleverer)? What patterns in subject material do you see? How have you changed? Please share. And look our for some serious throwbacks of my own in future posts.